W.I.N. Wednesday: Life is full of choices. Choose well.

You can make excuses, or you can make changes.

You can blame or you can learn.

You can whine or you can do the work.

You can say “someone should” or you can step up and be that someone.

You can step forward into progress, or backwards into fear.

You can complain or you can act.

You can allow yourself to be overwhelmed by your Circle of Concern, or you can focus on your Circles of Control and Influence 

You can develop a Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset.

You can view stress as debilitating and bad or as facilitating and enhancing.

You can embrace the Threat Mindset and avoidance behaviours, or the Challenge Mindset and approach behaviours.

What’s Important Now? Life is full of choices. Choose well.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: One Man’s Powerful Journey from Paralysis to Purpose

I normally do not publicly share interviews I do for The Excellence in Training Academy where it is a membership site. Today I am making an exception. I just relistened to an interview I did with Phil Carlson about his journey of recovery from a significant spinal cord injury. In this interview Phil talks about W.I.N., mindset, imagery, the critical role his wife and son played in his journey, the power of awareness, the importance of gratitude and many other takeaways from his journey.

You can listen to or watch the interview with Phil by clicking on one of the links below. Feel free to share this interview with all those you feel may benefit from the message.

Phil Carlson – A Journey from Paralysis to Purpose MP3 Audio File

Phil Carlson – A Journey from Paralysis to Purpose MP4 Video file

What’s Important Now? Take Phil’s lessons and apply them to your journey.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Head up. Phone down. Eyes up.

I get that people like to listen to music and podcasts while they are outside walking and running, but is it worth compromising your personal safety for?

I understand that people are being encouraged to walk during phone calls to increase their daily activity levels, but is it worth compromising your personal safety for?

I don’t understand walking outside, through an airport or anywhere else while looking down at your phone scrolling, texting, and e-mailing. If it is really that important, then stop and step off to the side in a safe area where you will not impede anyone else, deal with the text, then put your phone away.

When you have earbuds in or headphones on it limits, and possibly eliminates, your ability to hear people, bikes or cars approaching you from the side or behind. I have passed people from behind on pathways and they had no idea I was there until I was right beside, or slightly in front of them. While I had no ill intent and was simply passing them, that is not the case with everyone.

If your head is down and focused on your phone you have very little to no awareness of who is approaching, what is going on around you and any potential hazards in your path. Attention is a limited commodity, and you need to get your head and eyes up and free up your hearing. Doing so will increase your awareness of your environment. If you are outside walking it will also increase your enjoyment of the surroundings.

I had to shake my head the other day when I saw someone post a video on LinkedIn on how to avoid being the victim of a street robbery. They were making the video while walking down a sidewalk with their earbuds in and the phone out front of them. Their attention was on the phone in front of them to make sure they stayed in frame during the video. It would seem to me that if you want to avoid being a victim of a street robbery you would put your phone away, take your earbuds out, get your eyes up, and pay attention to where you are going and who is around in the environment.

Criminals are looking for certain traits in their potential victims. Being distracted and demonstrating a lack of awareness of their environments are two of those traits.

If you want to listen to music or podcasts while getting in your steps for the day or getting in your daily run or bike ride, then do it on a treadmill or stationary bike where you are not jeopardizing your personal safety to improve your health. If you like to get outdoors, which is a great addition to physical activity, then leave your phone at home and enjoy the many benefits of being physically active outdoors.

What’s Important Now? Head up. Phone down. Buds out.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Start, assess, iterate, access, iterate, repeat.

It is easy to get overwhelmed by all the information on exercise, nutrition, and other elements of health and get stuck doing nothing. None of the “experts” can seem to agree on specifics other than to say that exercise (including resistance training) is critical to both brain health and physical health as well as health span. They also agree that “healthy nutritional habits” are important. They just do not agree on what that consists of.

It is easy to get stuck trying to figure out how to work in all the recommendations for Zone 2 cardio, resistance training, interval training, mobility training, flexibility training, walking, speed, power, and strength work, and the list seems to go on. Then we need to find time to do breath work, meditation, and other mindfulness practices. Once we work through all that we then need to decide are we exercising in a fasted state or a fed state, for how long, how many times a week and are we going to exercise in the morning, mid-day, late afternoon, or evening.

In addition to the activity piece, we need to decide what nutritional strategies to follow. Do we do omnivore, carnivore, vegetarian, vegan, low carb, slow carb, no carb, high carb, low fat, high fat, what types of fat, low protein, moderate protein, high protein, or any of the other styles of eating currently being marketed as “The Way”. Once we figure that out we need to decide how many times a day are we going to eat and are we going to eat in a specific eating window (8, 10, or 12 hours) or just eat whenever we feel like it.

Then there is the whole discussion around alcohol. Is it good for you or bad for you or is the volume (how many drinks per day / week) and the regularity (how often are you consuming alcohol) the biggest issue.

My advice is to figure out what works for you and start there. That may take some experimentation over time. Examine where you are at currently in your life and will work best for you. At 66 my considerations are very different than when we had young children and my wife and I were both working fulltime and for stretches both working shiftwork.

Personally, one of my main considerations is, “What can I do for activity, nutrition and sleep rituals that works both at home and when I am on the road?”. Last year I was on the road for 33 weeks and this year it will be about 22 weeks. I get up very early in the morning and workout in the morning in a fasted state. In order to give myself the opportunity for 8 hours of sleep I go to bed very early. Because I am on the road so often and some hotels have sparce fitness facilities and for some reason many do not open until after 6:00 a.m., I travel with resistance bands and an X3 bar so I can work out in my room. At home I do resistance training with resistance bands, my X3 system 3 to 4 times a week and add in some kettlebell work with the 3 kettlebells I have. We have a good gym in our condo building and when I am home, I will go down first thing in the morning 2 or 3 days a week and do my Zone 2 cardio (incline walking on the treadmill). I also have a Concept 2 SkiERG machine I use for Zone 2 cardio and interval training and an infrared sauna in the den in our condo. I also strive for at least 30 minutes of walking outside on the days I am home.

As far as nutrition goes, I consume two protein shakes and two meals a day and I strive to get 50 grams of protein in each of those feedings. I do that within a 9-to-10-hour window leaving 3 to 4 hours between my last meal and when I go to bed. When I travel, I pack meal replacement bars, protein powder and grass-fed beef sticks so I can have a measure of control with my eating. Depending on how long I will be at a specific location I will usually go to the grocery store and get food I can store in my hotel room to offer better control over what and when I eat. I follow three rules I learned from Ben Bikman PhD, a professor at BYU and author of the great book Why We Get Sick.

1.    Prioritize Protein

2.    Control Carbs

3.    Fill With Fat

That is me. That is what I have discovered over time through a lot of trial and error what works best for me, at this stage of my life. What works for me likely will not work for you, so figure out what works with your life, your schedule, your likes and dislikes, and your current level of health. What works now will likely change over time. Ask yourself two key questions:

1.    What’s Important Now?

2.    What is the smallest change that will make the biggest difference?

The first question will help you decide whether to start with focusing on dialing in your sleep, activity levels or nutrition. The second question is designed to get you focused on the changes that will provide you with the biggest return on investment. This is a long-term project. You are not looking for quick fixes, hacks, or shortcuts. You are playing the long game.

The key is to start. Start with one thing that will move the needle on your health and then keep moving forward. It is too easy to tell yourself that you just need to listen to one more podcast, read one more blog post, research study or book. No. You need to just start. You can continue to read and listen as you go, but you need to start.

What’s Important Now? Start, assess, iterate, access, iterate, repeat.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

W.I.N. Wednesday: The purpose of life is not to be happy.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ahh, the ever elusive “happiness” so many people are seeking.

How often have you been told, “Do what makes you happy.”? Did it? For how long?

Some people are told money will make them happy, so they spend their lives chasing money and live a miserable existence.

Some people accumulate great wealth and are still unhappy.

Some people try to convince themselves that once they get that promotion or get a nicer car or a bigger house or get into the right college or university then they will be happy.

Some convince themselves that once they get to retirement age and don’t have to go to work anymore, then they will be happy only to discover they are no happier in retirement than they were before.

What if, instead of chasing happiness, we followed Emerson’s advice and sought to be useful, honorable, compassionate and to make a difference in a small part of the world and in the lives of others? What if we sought significance instead of success? What if we sought to make a positive impact in the world? What if we stopped worrying about who knows of us and sought to be worth knowing? What if we learned self-compassion as part of being compassionate? What if we learned to love ourselves for who we are instead of always seeking the approval of others? What if we allowed ourselves to be human, to be flawed, to screw up and make mistakes?

What’s Important Now? Reflect on the purpose of life for you, and live accordingly.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Are you keeping the fire kindled?

"The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled."

Plutarch

Stay curious.

Make it a ritual of committing at least 1% of every day (14 minutes and 24 seconds) to personal development and learning.

Do what works best for you, whether that is reading, listening, taking online courses or webinars, or attending in person courses. Do something that challenges you and that you enjoy so you will keep doing it.

Seek ways to discuss and debate what you are learning.

Be curious about what other people are learning.

Ask more questions, better questions, deeper questions.

Be challenged, not threatened, by opposing points of view.

Beware of the comparison trap. It does not matter how many books or research papers someone else has read. Stay the course, do what works for you and do a little, a lot.

It is ok to move on from a book or podcast that you are not enjoying and learning from. This is not to suggest that you walk away from everything that challenges the way you think. It means that your time is too valuable to invest in a book or podcast you are not enjoying as you are likely not learning from it anyways. Sometimes it is just not the right time, and you may find you go back to that book later and finish reading it. You also do not have to listen to every episode of your favorite podcasts. It is ok to pick and choose which ones you listen to.

It is ok to be reading multiple books and move between them based on how you are feeling at that moment.

The research is very clear that learning and neuroplasticity can happen throughout our entire life.

The research is also very clear on the benefits of an active mind and an active body.

What’s Important Now? Stay curious and keep the fire kindled.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

W.I.N. Wednesday: What if you did this instead?

What if instead of “Heh look at me!” posts on social media, you posted “Heh look at the great work (fill in the name of someone else) is doing.”

What if instead of running down others to sell your program or product, you sold your program on its merits.

What if instead of looking for what is wrong, you looked for what is good.

What if instead of looking for the differences between us, we looked for similarities and common ground.

What if instead of recording videos on your phone while you are driving, you focused on your driving and stopped putting lives at risk to make a video for social media.

What if instead of being so worried about holding the police accountable people started holding criminals, politicians, and the media accountable.

What if instead of trying to make themselves look good by bragging about what they are doing, people in leadership positions focused on making their people look good.

What if instead of spending hours on social media, you read more non-fiction books.

What if instead of making youth sports about parents and coaches, we made it about the kids.

What if instead of walking through the world with your head down looking at your phone, you had your head up taking in the world and the people around you.

What if we listened to our own advice.

What if we closed the ‘Knowing – Doing Gap’ between what we know we should do and what we actually do.

What’s Important Now? Life is full of choices. Choose well. The world will be a better place for it.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Make youth sports about the young people, not the adults.

When my two sons were growing up and I coached youth basketball, indoor and outdoor soccer, and bantam football I was always of the opinion that youth sports could be a lot of fun if it was not for some of the adults. It would be appropriate to adopt either the New Zealand All Blacks “No Dickheads” rule, or Professor Robert Sutton’s “No Assholes Rule” for coaches and parents.

If you have children in sports make it about them, not you. Make it about the love of the game. Make it about respect for the game, their teammates, the officials, and their opponents. Make if about developing adaptive problems solving skills, movement skills, as well as skills in communication, teamwork, empathy, and emotional intelligence. Make it about the love of physical activity. Make it about striving to be their best, not the best.

I am writing this in a hotel room in St. Louis while I am at the ILEETA conference. I had ESPN Sportscenter on a few days ago in my hotel room and was disturbed by one of the stories they shared. They showed an upset in college wrestling where a young man who had won 58 consecutive matches over 3 or 4 years and was the favorite to win his fourth national title was pinned and defeated by a lesser ranked opponent. What bothered me was the footage of this young man’s mother who had a meltdown in the stands. She ripped off her glasses and broke them into pieces before throwing them to the floor as part of her tantrum. Obviously, I do not know this woman and am judging based on the brief footage they showed. This response however, was not the response of a mother who felt bad for her son. This was not a mother celebrating the massive effort and accomplishments of her son throughout his wrestling career. This was not an empathetic response to her son’s loss in what may have been his final competition of his college career. This was a tantrum by a woman who appeared that it was all about her, not her son. It was a sad display.

I have heard some athletic trainers I respect talk about having conversations with parents about “their athlete”. We need to shift these conversations from “your athlete” to “you son or daughter”. These are children, adolescents, and young men and women who happen to be competing in athletic endeavors. At those ages they should be viewed and embraced as young people “playing sports” not commodities having to perform to keep their coach and parents from yelling at them. There are still too many young people who dread the car right home with mom or dad after the game, especially if they lost.

A small percentage of the young people who participate in sports at the high school level will ever play at the college or university level, and only a small percentage of them will get a full ride scholarship to a Division 1 school. Of those who do play sports at the collegiate level very few will every play at the professional level or every become an Olympic athlete. Very few people who earn the right to participate in the Olympics will ever get on a podium and win a medal.

There are some valuable life lessons that can be learned by participating in youth sports, if the young people playing those sports have the right teachers (parents and coaches). Sadly, there are still children learning the wrong lessons and having the fun taken out of the game by adults who forget the true purpose of youth sports. If you have a child in sports, or you coach youth sports, remember that it is not about you.

What’s Important Now? Make youth sports about the young people, not the adults.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: When you know better, do better.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

Maya Angelou

Continually ask questions, read, listen, reflect, and learn so you know better.

When you know better, do better.  

What’s Important Now? Rinse and repeat.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Vote for the type of person you want to become.

Back at the start of October I wrote a W.I.N. Wednesday post based on a question from a participant at the NTOA conference on “How do I stick to my diet?” One of the strategies I wrote about was to create a new identity. That theme, along with the importance of taking action are woven through many of the W.I.N. Wednesday newsletters.

"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity."

James Clear

The themes of action and identity were front of mind the other morning when I had no “motivation” to work out. I was about to blow the workout off and come up with an excuse to try and rationalize that to myself when I heard that little voice in my head saying, “It is not like you to skip your workout just because you don’t feel like it.” That was enough to get me out of my funk and get me started and once I started, I had a good workout. As James Clear states in the above quote, that action was a vote for the type of person I wish to become.

I almost made the above little story generic because I do not want to become the type of person who is always posting selfies, and writing stories to say, “Heh look at me.” I then realized that it is ok occasionally to share small stories to show that I am working to practice what I preach.

The wording “the type of person you wish to become” is important as it implies that we are on a continual journey of becoming that person. This is not something that you achieve, tick off that box, then stop striving. This also embodies the philosophy of “Believe it until you achieve it”.

Once you are clear on the type of person you wish to become it may be helpful to draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper and on the left side make a list of behaviors (actions) that are “like me” and cast a vote for the type of person you are becoming, and on the right side of the paper make a list of behaviors that are “No like me”.

You can do the same exercise with a sports team, or a team of people at work. Once you are clear on the type of team you want to become make the “Like Us” and “Not Like Us” list that everyone contributes to, and everyone agrees on. Once you have the team list then individuals can make their own list of the types of behaviors as individuals that support what you are building as a team.

Remember to have compassion for yourself and others in the journey of becoming. We are all human. We are all flawed. We will all have good days and bad days. We will all make mistakes. We will all falter. We you do then pick yourself and others up, reflect of the learning opportunity and move forward better off for the experience.

What’s Important Now? Take small actions today, and every day, that will cast a vote for the type of person you want to become.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Absorb. Discard. Add.

“Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.”

Bruce Lee

We are continually bombarded with information from a wide variety of sources. That information relates to exercise, nutrition, sleep, learning, training, mental wellness, and a host of other topics. The challenge is to decide who to listen to and determine what do you absorb, what do you discard and what do you add that is uniquely our own.  

Let’s start with the last part, “add what is uniquely your own.” Each of us is unique. We have different body structures, and physical capabilities and limitations. Those will change over time and sometimes will change acutely because of an injury or medical issue. We have different life circumstances and are in different seasons of our life. We have different jobs and different demands because of those jobs. We have different tastes in food. We have different times of day when we prefer to work out, or perhaps when we can work out. We have different access to fitness facilities and equipment. The point here is that there is no “one size fits all” approach to most areas of life.

As far as what to absorb and what to discard, you need to determine your criteria for the information and the sources of that information. Is it evidence based, research informed and can it be practically applied? Is it practical for you? Is it doable with your realities? Is it cost effective and affordable? Is it something you will stick with for the long term or is it a gimmick, fad, hack, or secret?

I use the three criteria of evidence based, research informed and practically applied to determine who I listen to. For example, three of the sources I trust for health-related issues are Matt Walker PhD, Benjamin Bikman PhD, Andrew Huberman PhD, and Peter Attia MD. Why? Because everything they talk about is evidence based and research informed. They are very cautious about offering an opinion, but when they do, they are very clear that it is an opinion, an informed opinion but an opinion none the less. They are also willing to say, “I don’t know.”, and to change their beliefs based on new evidence. Like a lot of people, I listen to Andrew Huberman and Peter Attia’s podcasts to access information. They cite the sources of their information and I know that the guests are vetted and credible. Some of the information is very applicable to me for where I am at in my life and my health, and I absorb it, and apply it in a way that works for me. Some of the information they cover is not useful to me, so I discard it. Some of the information is not applicable based on the unique elements of my life, so I discard it. With some of the information I add what is uniquely my own based on a lifetime of research, experimentation, successes, and failures and knowing me, my situation, my needs, and my physical abilities and limitations at that point in my life.

I have other trusted and vetted sources of information for other areas of my life, including my learning and growth.

You need to figure out who you are going to use as reliable sources of information. Once you do, determine what you will absorb, what you will discard and what you will add that is uniquely your own. Absorbing might require tweaking and adjusting and is about principles and concepts and not just specific protocols or regimens.

On this journey remember to embrace the philosophy of “Strong beliefs, loosely held.” Be willing to change your beliefs and strategies when new, more compelling evidence is revealed to you. Be prepared to tweak and adjust as you go. Figure out what works for you and be careful about the dogma and belief that there is only one way for everyone. My way is A Way. It is not The Way.

P.S. It may be helpful to read a little more about Bruce Lee’s life and philosophies. The book Be Water My Friend by his daughter Shannon Lee is a good place to start.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: What you often don’t see.

“Everything is hard before it’s easy.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What you see is:

• The final product.

• The performance.

• Are a select few stories of “success”.

• What the “media” determines is important for you to see.

• Posts from people who are continually posting on social media.

• The awards, or award shows.

• Stories of people who lose over a hundred pounds or more on some reality show, using a fad diet or the latest weight loss hack.

What you see is people making the hard, look easy.

What you often don’t see is:

• The hard work, practice and preparation that goes on behind the scenes prior to a concert, Broadway play, movie, or sporting event.

• The mistakes, failures and struggles on the journey to make the hard, look easy.

• The personal struggles people are going through. The insecurities, the doubts, fears, and challenges.

• The stories of the people who make it through military special operations qualification then get kicked out of the unit for serious character issues, criminal behaviour, or inability to function in that environment.

• The people who are “successful” in business, athletics, or some other area, but whose personal lives are a train wreck.

• The stories of the people who are unsuccessful in making it through military special operations qualification, but then go on to have successful careers in the military and / or in civilian life despite not having achieved the goal of being a member of the special operations community.

• The stories of people who lost hundreds of pounds on a reality show or using some fad diet or weight loss hack and then put the weight all back on plus some.  

Be careful of assuming that what you do see:

• Applies to everyone in a specific profession.

• Is reality. (Hint: Social media is not reality. Reality shows are not reality.)

• Is all there is.

• Somehow means that “success” equates to happiness and fulfillment.

• Means you are somehow less than, or a failure because that is not your reality.

What’s Important Now? Accept that everything is hard before it is easy. Embrace the struggle. Embrace the suck. Look for the learning. Look for the good. Dare to Be Great.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Heh Willis, what are your New Year’s Resolutions?

I often get asked about my thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions and what my personal resolutions are. My answers are always the same.

• I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions.

• I do not have any New year’s resolutions.

Let me explain. I think New Year’s Resolutions are a flawed strategy that causes a lot of people to experience a sense of overwhelm and failure before the first month of the year is over. Too often people pick goals, that are not their own, but ones they feel pressured to pick, like weight loss. As a result, many people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions by mid to late January. For some people this causes a feeling of defeat and a belief that they are not disciplined like __________________ (fill in the name of some social media influencer). That results in them feeling shame and a diminished sense of self-worth. New Year’s Resolutions are simply a construct that someone came up with that many people now feel like they “have” to do.

I am a believer in regular rituals and a daily commitment to strive to be a little better tomorrow than I am today. My rituals include sleep, activity, nutrition, and learning. I use the phrase “strive to be a little better today that I was yesterday” because I understand that sometimes in the striving I will fail and come up short. When I do, I allow myself to be human. I then follow the model from my dog and kick some grass over that shit and move on.

I engage in some form of learning every day. Some days I get a significant amount of reading done, other days I read for only 20 or 30 minutes. Some days I work on online course and others I do not. Some days are more productive from a writing standpoint. Some days I listen to several podcasts and interviews. Some days I conduct interviews for the Excellence in Training Academy. Occasionally I do interviews for other people’s podcasts. The areas of focus for my learning will vary depending on what upcoming interviews I am preparing to conduct, and what rabbit hole I am going down with my own learning where I am striving to gain a deeper understanding. As 2022 ends that rabbit hole is related to the field of Ecological Dynamics as it applies to facilitating motor skill acquisition and adaptability.

I do some form of physical activity every day. The type and amount vary depending if I am on the road or at home. On the road teaching days are different from on the road prep days and at home days are different from days on the road. Due to early morning flights on many travel days the activity those days usually involves brisk walks through airports. Some days the activity is one or two walks outside. Other days I do a resistance training session early in the morning, a session on the SkiERG machine late morning and a walk after my midday meal. Other days I do a 45-minute incline walk on the treadmill first thing in the morning followed by a brief shoulder workout and then a walk outside after the midday meal. When I am home, I do a post workout infrared sauna 4 to 5 times a week.

I eat consistently 90 to 95% of the time. I travel with protein powder, grass fed beef sticks and meal replacement bars. On the road I often stay in hotels that have a kitchen so I can cook my own breakfast. I take my lunch every day that I teach, and I generally do not eat after lunch. At home I have the same thing for breakfast every day and eat at the same time each morning. I have a protein shake mid-morning, eat the same thing every day for my midday meal, which I also eat at the same time, and then I do not eat again before I go to bed. I like the way I eat, and what I eat and never feel like I am depriving myself. When I do deviate from my normal eating, I am fine with that and simply get back on track the next meal. I eat the way I do because I want to, because I get to, not because I have to.

For the most part I have stopped drinking. Will I occasionally have a glass of red wine when I am out for a meal? Possibly. Is that ok? Sure. I am not going to beat myself up because of it. I just get back onto my normal plan after that.

I am consistent with the time I go to bed and the time I get up at least 350 days a year. There are a few days because of social commitments or flight departure or arrival times that I deviate from the schedule. I wear a sleep mask 365 nights a year and tape my mouth shut every night to force myself to breathe through my nose while sleeping. The majority of days I leave 5 to 6 hours between my last meal and the time I go to bed. A few times a year that window will be down to 2 hours.

I share all this simply to help you understand why, for me, New Year’s Resolutions are not something I focus on. If I need to tweak my systems, processes, habits, or rituals I do that when it becomes apparent that I would benefit from that change, rather than waiting for January 1 to make some big change.

Does this make me special in any way? No. Does it mean I am highly motivated? No. Motivation is fleeting and there are many days when I am not motivated to workout, write, or read, but I do it anyway knowing that once I start, I will get into it and be glad I did it. Does this mean I am super disciplined? I would say no. I am a creature of habit and I have created daily habits and rituals that work for me.

Do I think you need to do what I do? No. Do what works for you. Should you eat the way that I eat? No. You should eat in a whatever way works best for you, your life, your likes, and your health. If New Year’s Resolutions work for you, excellent. Go for it. If they do not, then screw New Year’s Resolutions. Do what does work for you and feel good about doing it. It is ok to be you.

What’s Important Now? Start where you are at. Start now. Focus on small, incremental, daily improvements. Focus on habits and rituals that are sustainable for you, and meaningful for you. Allow yourself to be human.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Simply do it.

If it is the right thing to do, simply do it. You do not have to take the “heh look at me” selfie photos and videos and post them online. Simply do it.

If you wish to give a server in a restaurant an unusually large tip to help them out, then simply do it. Simply do it at the end of the meal and let them discover it after you have left. When you take and post the selfie you make it all about you, and not about the act.

If you perform a random act of kindness for a stranger, simply do it. Do it because it is the right thing to do. Do it because it makes the person feel seen, valued appreciated. (It will also make you feel good.) If you take and post the selfie it is not a random act of kindness, it is a staged act to show everyone how “kind and giving” you are and you have just made it all about you.

If you are in a formal leadership position and you go out and work alongside your people to let them know you appreciate what they do and make them feel seen, heard, valued, and appreciated then simply do it. That is what leaders should be doing. When you take and post the selfie you have just made it all about you.

Posting a selfie with a group of people with the caption, “I had the opportunity to (spend the day with, teach, train, etc.) this great group of people today.” Makes it about you, not them. If you have the opportunity to train a great group of people, then simply do it and do it to the best of your abilities. If they want to post something of their own initiative, not because you asked them to, that is different.

Simply do your job, treat people right, have an all-in attitude and give an all-out effort because it is the right thing to do, and please skip the “heh look at me selfie”.

What’s Important Now? Simply do it.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: No one changes unless .........

I often talk about and write about the philosophy, “Focus on what you control and control the controllable.” The below message from Lori Deschene reminded me of that.

No one changes unless they want to.

Not if you beg them.

Not if you shame them.

Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love.

There’s only one thing that makes someone change:

their own realization that they need to do it.

And there is only one time it will happen:

when they decide they’re ready.

Lori Deschene

You will only change when you are ready. You will be ready when you have a strong enough personal ‘why’. Changing to appease others or to get them off your back will not result in lasting change and while you are suffering through that temporary change you will likely resent those who begged or shamed you.

You cannot change others, no matter how badly you want to. You can, however, love and support them unconditionally until they decide they are ready to change and then you can love and support them through their personal journey of change.

What’s Important Now? Remember that no one changes unless they want to, including you.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: What can I do I am just a……….

”The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

Alice Walker

Any time we start a sentence with the words, “I am just a” we are trying to convince ourselves that we have no power, no influence, no ability to effect any change.

I hear this all the time from people when we talk about leading and culture change in organizations. Interestingly, I hear it from people of all levels, ranks and assignments. When I talk about “power” in the context of culture change and being a leader, I am referring to the ability to influence others and influence change in a positive way.

The conversation starts with exploring the philosophy of, “Focus on what you control and control the controllable.” When people make a list of all the things they control it becomes quickly apparent that everything on the list is about them. The only person we control is ourselves. We do, however, have influence with other people. That span of influence varies from person to person. Even if I believe I only have influence with two or three other people, they have influence with two or three other people and they have influence with two or three other people. We soon start to discover that we may have more influence than we think.  

In this case we are looking at influencing like a leader and thinking of influence ‘with’, not influence ‘over’ and we are looking to influence through inspiration, collaboration, cooperation, communication, relationships, and human connection. It is in influencing like a leader that you have the ability (power) to positively influence cultural change in your piece of the organization.

There are countless examples of positive change that was initiated by people at the foundational level of organizations; people who believed in their ability to create change. Many of those people were surrounded by peers who initially believed they did not have the power to effect change and often used the “What can I do, I am just a ____” language.

Start by accepting that you are in a position to lead (even if you are not in a formal leadership position) and that you do have the power to effect positive change if you are courageous enough to take action and influence like a leader.

What’s Important Now? You have power. You have influence. Use it wisely to create positive change.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: The Secret of Being Miserable

“George Bernard Shaw was right. He summed it all up when he said: ‘The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.’ So don’t bother to think about it! Spit on your hands and get busy. Your blood will start circulating; your mind will start ticking—and pretty soon this whole positive upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from your mind. Get busy. Keep busy. It’s the cheapest kind of medicine there is on this earth—and one of the best.”

Dale Carnegie

The messages I take from the above quote are:

·      Focus on taking action and doing the work to be of service to others.

·      Strive to make an impact on your small part of the world.

·      Seek to live a life of significance. 

It is easy to get caught up sitting on the couch surfing social media sites and fantasizing about how happy you would be if you had a different job, made more money, had a bigger house, had a better spouse, had a better boss, worked for yourself, won the lottery, lived in some exotic location, or were rich and famous. Yet, we all know people who change jobs, get a new boss, get a raise, buy a bigger house, or find a new spouse and are still miserable. There are countless stories of the “rich and famous” who are unhappy and continually seeking something else.

What’s Important Now? Focus on becoming, instead of being. Worry not who knows of you, seek to be worth knowing. Focus on effort and process, not just outcomes. Seek to live a life of significance rather than chasing ‘success’ and ‘happiness’. You might just find yourself feeling happier and more fulfilled.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Some random thoughts and rantings from an old grumpy guy.

If you hate your job, either change your attitude or quit and get a different job. Everyone is hiring. Stop making your fellow employees miserable and pissing off your customers.

If you are going to take a job in the service industry, then strive to be of service to people and do not just go through the motions until your shift is over. If you hate your job, then go back and read the first paragraph.

If you work in the hospitality industry, then strive to be hospitable. If you hate your job, you know what to do.

If you are going to fly on a commercial aircraft then for the 3 minutes it takes the flight attendants to do the safety briefing please shut up, put down your phone or your book, take off your headphones and pay attention to the safety briefing. Then mentally rehearse how many rows forward and backward you need to go to get to the emergency exits. Mentally rehearse undoing your seatbelt in an emergency, it works differently than the seatbelt in your vehicle. Mentally rehearse putting on the oxygen mask and pulling down on the plastic tubing to start the flow of oxygen in an emergency. Do this every flight. It might just save your life and the lives of others on the plane in an emergency.

If the phone call is that important that you have to answer it while you are driving, then safely pull over to the side of the road and have the conversation.

If the phone call is that important that you have to answer it while you are walking through a mall, an airport or any other busy pedestrian area, then step off to the side and find a quiet spot where you will not disturb other people, and then have your call.

There is no reason for you to be texting and driving. Putting other people’s lives at risk for a text message is unacceptable.

If you are a smoker, then find an actual ashtray for your cigarette butts. The roadway is not an ashtray. The sidewalk is not an ashtray. Parking lots are not ashtrays.

If you are going to accept a leadership position, then have the courage to lead. If you are not willing to do the job, then please do not take the position or promotion.

If you are going to violate Rule #2 (No Whining. No Complaining. No Excuses.) please limit it to 5 minutes then move on to finding solutions.

People in the service industry are not servants so if you treat them like they are, please stop.

Every job is important. If you think certain jobs are “beneath you”, first, get over yourself, then go out of your way to be polite to the people who are willing to do those critical jobs and show your appreciation for them. You might not be willing to do that job; be grateful that someone is.

Remember that you can blame, or you can learn, you cannot do both. Stop blaming and focus on learning.

Thanks for letting me rant.

What’s Important Now? If you were offended by anything I wrote, then consider the words of a wise trainer I once heard preface his class by saying, “I am likely going to piss some of you off. Remember, it only hurts if it ought to.”

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Believe it until you achieve it.

I am not a fan of the philosophy of, “Fake it until you make it.” I think the concept can be helpful, but I believe the language is problematic. For many people “faking it” feels cheap and sleazy and creates cognitive dissonance. What if you embraced the philosophy “Believe it until you achieve it.” instead.

“Believe it until you achieve it.” is about believing in your ability to accomplish and achieve goals and effect changes if you are willing to put in the work. This is not believing you can be anything you want and have anything you want if you just put it out in the universe. This is about developing a Growth Mindset and believing that if you are willing to put in the effort you can learn, grow, and improve. It also requires coupling this belief with action. It requires focusing on effort and process and mastering the art of showing up.

“Believe it until you achieve it.” does not mean that you will be fearless and free of any doubt. We will all experience fear, anxiety, and doubt on our journey in the pursuit of excellence. The key is to acknowledge that the anxiety is a reminder the journey, task or goal is important to you and allow yourself to reflect on why it is important to you. It also affords you the opportunity to reflect on the reality that you have learned new information, acquired new skills and done hard things before.

It comes down to action, belief, and self-talk. The key is to combine the concept of Act As If, the philosophy “Believe it until you achieve it.”, and the art of mastering the internal dialogue with showing up every day with the commitment to small incremental improvement.

Many of the experts agree that it is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than it is to think your way into a new way of acting. I put this to the test this morning. I really did not feel like working out. I accepted the reality that once I started my warmup my mindset would likely change, I acted, and my mindset did change. That action allowed me to remain consistent with my identity of being someone who is committed to my health and who works out first thing in the morning.

Mental preparation coach Brian Cain shares the following insights:

• Confidence is a behavior, not a feeling.

• Acting changes everything.

• Always Behave Confident.

What’s Important Now? Take action. Believe it until you achieve it. Focus on effort and process. Master the internal dialogue. Keep showing up. Stay committed to the long game. Embrace the Struggle, Embrace the Suck, Look for the Learning, Look for the Good, Dare to Be Great.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: How do I stick to my diet?

n an Excellence in Training workshop I was facilitating at the recent NTOA conference in Milwaukee one of the participants, who is a regular reader of the W.I.N. Wednesday blog, asked, “How do I stick to a diet?” We discussed it briefly then he suggested I write a blog post on it. Understanding that I am not a psychologist or a nutritionist, here are some thoughts.

Words Have Power

Words have power so pay attention to the language you use.

First, drop the word diet. The word implies short term punishment and depriving yourself of the things you enjoy. The inference is that once the “diet” is over you can go back to eating the way you used to, which is problematic. Instead, think about developing a long-term nutritional strategy, a way of eating, a lifestyle that involves healthy eating, that works for you and is sustainable over time.

Change the phase “Have To” to “Get To”. I don’t have to eat healthy; I get to eat healthy. I don’t have to work out, I get to so I can be fit to be useful. I don’t have to read every day; I get to read every day to keep my mind active and continue to learn and grow. I choose to do all these activities to keep my mind and body healthy. 

Shift your focus from “weight loss” to healthy behaviors and habits. Those behaviors and habits will help you to get to, and maintain, a healthy weight.

Create a New Identity

Create a new and meaningful identity that encompasses the habits and behaviors you are seeking to embrace. For me that identity includes, “I am someone who is committed to my health.” Make sure you have a strong personal ‘why’ behind the new identity. Personally, I am not interested in longevity and life span, I am interested in health span. I am not concerned with living to 100, but I do want to be healthy in the remaining years that I do live. That means adopting behaviors that support strength and mobility, prevent insulin resistance, which is linked to many of our health issues, and limit the potential for cognitive decline through lifestyle choices. The experts suggest that Type 2 Diabetes is completely preventable and completely reversable as it is a lifestyle disease. I have also heard several experts suggest that Alzheimer’s Disease (also referred to as Type 3 Diabetes) is predominantly a lifestyle disease and potentially 98% preventable.

Once you are clear on your new identity Act As If you are that person and change your self-talk to support the new identity.

Identify Supporting Behaviors

Part of the Act As If philosophy is creating a list of behaviors that support your new identity. A helpful exercise is to write the new identity at the top of a blank piece of paper and then draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper to create two columns. In the left-hand column make a list of “Like Me” behaviors that support your identity. On the right side make a list of “Not Like Me” behaviors that are contrary to the new identity.

As I mentioned a key element of the identity I have embraced is, “I am someone who is committed to my health.” This means I am committed to training my mind and body. I commit to training my mind by reading non-fiction books every day, continuing to teach, preparing for, and conducting interviews for The Excellence in Training Academy and listening to educational podcasts. I commit to training my body through resistance training at least 3 times a week, Zone 2 cardio training at least 3 times a week and maximizing my nutrition through the development of “healthy eating habits”.

You must sort through all the literature and rhetoric on nutrition and decide what “healthy eating” means for you. Personally, I follow the advice of Benjamin Bikman PhD, a professor at BYU and author of the book Why We Get Sick, which is on my recommended reading list. He advocates for following three basic principles:

• Prioritize Protein

• Control Carbs

• Fill With Fat

That works for me. These are simple principles I find it easy to follow at home and on the road. This is important as I will spend about 32 weeks on the road in 2022. I also strive to eat within an 8-hour window every day. This allows me to have 16 hours each day where I am not ingesting calories and helps ensure I leave a minimum of 3 hours (usually 4 to 6 hours) between my last meal and when I go to bed.

Being committed to my health also means being anal about prioritizing my sleep. Chronic sleep debt and sleep deprivation have massive consequences for our physical health, brain health and mental health. Matthew Walker PhD, a professor at the University of California Berkley and author of Why We Sleep (also on the recommended reading list) says that sleep debt is the one debt that can never be repaid. When you are tired it is easier to blow off your workouts and make less desirable eating choices.

The behaviors that support the “like me” behavior of being anal about prioritizing my sleep include:

• Consistently giving myself the opportunity for 8 hours of sleep. This usually means ensuring I am in bed for about 8 ½ hours.

• Being consistent with the time I go to bed and the time I get up every day. I have established times that I can be consistent with both at home and on the road. I am able to accomplish this an average of 350 or more nights a year.

• Leaving at least 3 hours between my last meal and the time I go to bed.

• At home, and on the road on days when I am not teaching, I leave 8 to 10 hours between my last intake of caffeine and the time I go to bed. When I am teaching, I have a ritual of getting a venti dark roast coffee from Starbucks about 6:30 a.m. and making it last until I eat my last meal of the day around noon.

• Limiting my alcohol consumption. I love a glass of red wine after my last meal of the day, but the science is clear that alcohol consumption disrupts sleep quality, especially REM sleep. Alcohol is a sedative and not a sleep aide.

• Wearing a sleep mask 365 nights a year as it is hard for me to consistently get a completely dark room.

• Sleeping in a cool room. This can be challenging at home and that is the reason I have a Chili Pad on my side of the bed so I can keep the bed cool.

• I tape my mouth shut at night to force me to breathe through my nose. Hence the reason I shaved off my moustache and goatee in the spring of 2020.

• I avoid bright light, especially bright overhead light, for the last 60 to 90 minutes before I go to bed and get as much bright light exposure as possible in the first two hours after getting up. Light is the primary regulator of our circadian rhythms.

Two Key Questions

Keep the questions “What’s Important Now?” and “Where might the smallest change make the biggest difference?” at the front of mind. What’s Important Now? will help you make decisions in the moment to keep you consistent with your identity and help you to make “like me” choices. It will also help you to get back on track when you make choices that “Are not like me.” The other question reminds you to start small and make small changes that give you the greatest return on the investment.

Make it easier for yourself.

Over the years I have developed strategies and systems to make it easier for me to be consistent with my “like me” behaviors, especially when I am on the road. 

• I travel with resistance bands so that regardless of the quality of the fitness room at the hotel, or the hours, I can always get in a quality workout in my hotel room.

• At home we only have healthy food in the house. My wife does not follow the same eating strategies as I do, but she eats very healthy.

• I only have healthy food in my hotel room. I travel with protein powder, healthy bars, and grass-fed beef sticks. When travelling I make a run to Walmart Supercenter the morning after arriving at my destination to get Wholly Avocado 100% Chunky Avocado Minis, cheese, apple cider vinegar, packages of wild caught salmon, spinach, and extra virgin olive oil. Depending on the breakfast situation at the hotel I may also get packages of hard-boiled eggs. If I have a kitchen in the hotel room with a two-burner stove, I will also get organic free-range eggs and grass-fed beef for my breakfasts.

• I take a mid-morning snack and my lunch every day that I teach. It is easier to control what I eat and stay consistent with eating that is “like me”.

• If I am eating in a restaurant, I will tell the server to skip the bread. I love bread and can easily eat an entire basket of warm bread, but it is “like me” to control cards, so I skip the bread.

• I now only have a glass of wine when I go out to eat. I hate to open a bottle of good red wine, only have one glass, and let the rest go bad. So, instead of having the open bottle of wine calling my name every night, I only have a glass of wine when I go out to eat, which is only occasionally, even on the road.

Other Helpful Strategies

Be patient with yourself. Building new habits and behavior rituals takes time. Some days will be easier than others. Remember to Embrace the Struggle, Embrace the Suck, Look for the Learning, Look for the Good as you Dare to Be Great. When it comes to health and wellness think long term; think Infinite Game.

Allow yourself to be human and have some self-compassion. One bad meal is not going to kill you. One missed workout will not cause you to be unfit. Simply get back on track.

It is helpful to create systems, rituals, and habits around your “like me” behaviors. Rituals are non-negotiable, important to you, and built to support your identity. Ensure those rituals include rest and recovery. Read James Clear’s book Atomic Habits for ideas on building habits.

Get an accountability partner. I am not a fan of public pronouncement of our goals, but I am a fan of accountability partners to help keep you on track.

What’s Important Now? Start where you are at. Start now. Strive for small incremental daily improvements.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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