W.I.N. Wednesday: It is always about you. It is always about you.

"You're going to realize it one day—that happiness was never about your job or your degree or being in a relationship. Happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all of those who came before you; it was never about being like the others. One day, you're going to see it—that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chose to go. Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself; it was always about embracing the person you were becoming. One day, you will understand that happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that your happiness was never in the hands of others. It was always about you. It was always about you."

Bianca Sparacino, A Gentle Reminder

What’s Important Now? Instead of waiting until “one day”, start now by accepting - It is always about you. It is always about you.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Don’t be lazy and make empty judgments.

"Everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something. Know this. You never know what someone has been through, or what they're going through today. Don't be lazy and make empty judgments. Be kind. Ask about their stories. Listen."

Marc and Angel Chernoff

I am guilty of being lazy and making those empty judgements. I do it in airports, hotels, restaurants, and classes I am teaching. I also know that people make empty judgements about me.

Sometimes, when I have the opportunity, I will ask about their stories and listen. But not always. Does that make me a bad person? No. It makes me human. Humans are flawed. Is that an excuse? No.

Do I need to be more intentional and deliberate about reminding myself of the message in the opening quote? Absolutely. Will I always be successful? No, but I will keep striving.

I am reminded of one of the quotes I used in a presentation yesterday, “Strive for progress, not prefection.”

What’s Important Now? Be kind. Ask other people about their stories. Listen.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Finding beauty in the empty days.

I recently came across this excerpt from May Sarton’s Journal of a Solitude, which was first published in 1973.

Finding Beauty in the Empty Days

I always forget how important the empty days are. How important it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines in a journal. A day when one has not pushed oneself to the limit seems a damaged, damaging day, a sinful day. Not so! The most valuable thing one can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room.

I have written about this concept before so why am I writing about it again? Because I suck at it. I suck at finding beauty in the empty days and I need a constant reminder of this.

I feel the need to produce work every day, seven days a week. That work might be writing a blog post, working on an upcoming presentation, or reading a research paper to prepare for an upcoming Excellence in Training Academy interview.

I feel like I used to be better with “empty days”. I am not sure if I am getting worse at managing my time when I am not on the road or if I have a diminished capacity for work on a daily basis. Whatever the reason, I need to work on building in an empty day occasionally, to let my mind rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room. Not necessarily every week, and certainly not ever day. I need to start small and build my capacity to create, and then find beauty in those empty days.

What about you?

What’s Important Now? Make space for empty days, then seek to find the beauty in them.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: What are you good at that you need to stop doing?

“What are you good at that you need to stop doing?” is a question posed to the audience by Joe Calloway is his iconic closing keynote at the 2007 National Speakers Association conference. I was not in attendance at the conference but was able to track down a recording of the presentation a few years later after continually hearing people talk about it. That question had a huge impact on me at the time and I have been reflecting on it and sharing it ever since.

It is easy to quit the things that you are not good at. It is far more difficult, however, to quit doing something you are good at and that you get positive feedback on. I have used this question over the years to help me make the decision to stop teaching some of the programs I offered. They were a good source of income and I always got positive feedback from the participants, but I no longer enjoyed teaching the programs, so I walked away from them. In some cases, I referred clients to other trainers who offered training in that area and in other cases I found people I trusted, and who were great trainers, who were willing to teach the programs on a contract basis.

Those were difficult decisions at the time. Once I made the decision to stop teaching those programs and acted on that decision, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Is there something in your life that you are good at doing, but the joy is long gone, and it no longer feels like a “get to” and instead always feels like a chore and a “have to”? If so, what do you need to do to walk away and stop doing it? I am in no way suggesting that in a moment of frustration you simply say, “Screw it. I quit.” and walk away. This requires thought, reflection, and a little time to let the emotion pass. It also requires the courage to do what is right, for you, in that season of your life, when it may not be the popular, easy, or expedient choice.

What’s Important Now? What are you good at that you need to stop doing?

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: It is okay to be in this space.

"It is okay to be in this space. The transition, the messy middle, the space in between. You've moved on but you haven't yet arrived. You've left behind what you needed to, but the puzzle pieces haven't all yet come together. There is messiness. There is waiting. There is uncertainty. You are wanting to rush but everything is moving slow. You are wondering if you will get to where you want to go. But where you are is perfect. The messy middle is for doors to close and new doors to open. This transition period is where things come undone so that they can be put back together. This is a season of just being, of trusting. This is a season to pause and take a breath. Have love for yourself, you are exactly where you need to be."

Lisa Buscomb

This excerpt from Lisa Buscomb was shared recently in The Daily Coach blog. As I read it and reread it, the message really resonated with me. It struck me that, for me at least, being in “the messy middle” has been my life. I see it as the space in between birth and death where you are always struggling to put the puzzle pieces together. And, just when you get close to getting them all together life throws you a new curve and you now find yourself working on a new puzzle.

In the early years of your life, you are learning to walk, talk, learn and figure out your place in the world around you. The school years were filled with figuring out where you fit in, if you fit in and just as you started to maybe figure that out, you are off for two months filled with the waiting and uncertainty of starting in a new class, in a new grade, or a new school.

That messiness, waiting and uncertainty carries in the world of work where you are always wondering if you will get to where you want to go. Will you get the job or the assignment you want. Will you get the promotion. Every move, transfer, new assignment, and promotion bring new uncertainty.

That “messy middle” and everything that comes with it continued into my retirement from the Police Service 19 ½ years ago and has continued in my journey since then. As I now prepare to move into the next phase in 2025, I find myself once again in, or still in, “This transition period is where things come undone so that they can be put back together.”  

As I read, and reread that excerpt it struck me that the statement, “This is a season of just being, of trusting. This is a season to pause and take a breath. Have love for yourself, you are exactly where you need to be.", is powerful advice for life. It is ok to trust, pause and take a breath, have love for yourself, and accept that this is exactly where you need to be at that moment.

It does not mean that you stop learning, stop striving, or stop growing, it simply means that you are where you need to be in that moment of your journey. Each of those moments, good and bad, where doors open and close, where things come undone so they can be put back together, are all part of the journey we call life.

What’s Important Now?  Pause and take a breath, have love for yourself, and accept that this is exactly where you need to be at this moment.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: An air travel rant from a grumpy old man.

I travel for work between 26 and 33 weeks a year, most of those trips involve multiple flights at both ends of the trip. The following rant is for my fellow air travellers, whether you flight a lot, or just occasionally.

During the safety briefings please put your book away, pause the movie you are watching on your phone or table, shut up and pay attention to the safety briefings. Plane crashes are rare but when they happen people who pay attention to the safety briefings perform better than those who don’t. Before you get on the plane pull up the seating chart for the flight, look at what seat you are in, and count rows of seats going forward and back to get to the nearest emergency exit. Then, mentally rehearse how many seats you need to touch or go over to get to each exit in the event of an emergency. Mentally and physically rehearse undoing your seatbelt in an emergency. It works differently than the one in your vehicle. Don’t let your ignorance cost you or someone else their life when seconds count.

If you need to recline your seat during the flight, please do it slowly. Don’t be one of those idiots who slams his or her seat back into the fully reclined position. Space is limited already, and people are trying to work on their computers or watch videos on their tablets. They don’t need you breaking their stuff or spilling their drinks because you are too inconsiderate to simply recline your seat slowly. Better yet, keep your seat in the upright position or just recline slightly so the person behind you can enjoy what little space they have.

If you are flying on a smaller regional plane and the gate agent puts a green gate check tag on your bag, please leave it where you are directed to instead of thinking you are somehow special and your special bag will fit in the small overhead bins. When your bag does not fit, like the agent knew it would not, then you will have to fight your way upstream to the front of the plane and gate check it like you should have at the start.

Please learn to count to 2 before boarding a plane. You are only allowed two carry-on bags, and one is supposed to fit under the seat in front of you. The rule applies to everyone. You are not special and somehow exempt from the rules.  Yes, the exception is that you can bring your CPAP or other medical device as a third carry-on.

The aisles of planes are narrow. Please be aware of your backpack, purse, snowboarding helmet, ski boots, coffee, and everything else you are carrying onto the plane and don’t be one of those jerks who is smacking everyone seated in an aisle seat as you cluelessly stumble to your row, or spilling coffee on them as you try to look at your ticket to see where you are seated.

Ticket agents, gate agents and flight attendants are not responsible for weather issues, mechanical issues or other issues that result in delayed flights so please stop abusing them. Instead, be kind to them as delays complicate their life as well.

When you are walking through the airport get your head out of your phone. Airports are busy and people are trying to get to their gates. They don’t need you walking into them because you are focused on your stupid phone scrolling through unimportant e-mails, text messages or posts on Facebook or X.

If you are going to watch movies or listen to music on your phone, then buy headphones. Nobody else wants to listen to the crap you are listening to or watching on your phone.

If you need to have a phone conversation in the airport or in one of the airport lounges, then find a quiet spot away from other people and make sure you have headphones. Nobody else needs to listen to your conversation with your grandkids, spouse, friend, client, or anyone else. You do not need to have a phone conversation while you are on a plane. If it is truly an emergency, then use the headphones you should have already purchased, talk quietly, and keep the call brief.

Do not ask other people to move from the seat they booked months ago so you can sit by your spouse or friend only to sleep the whole flight, or read, or watch movies. I am sure they can survive the flight without you sitting beside them and ignoring them.

Air travel is not that enjoyable at the best of times. If you are going to fly for business or pleasure, please be respectful of everyone else crammed into that plane and of the airline employees who are doing their best with a system they did not create. Thank you from a grumpy old man who spends too much time on airplanes and in airports.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Simply do it and skip the posting and boasting.

In the Dare to Be Great leadership workshops we explore two Guiding Questions:

• What’s Important Now?

• What’s the right thing to do?

In addition to being questions to guide leaders in their decision-making process, these are life questions. As you know I refer to What’s Important Now? as ‘Life’s Most Powerful Question’. The question is simple and easy to remember and has an extremely diverse range of ways in which it can be applied and has been applied.

Doing what’s right is not always what is easy, what’s popular, or what’s expedient, but it is always what is right. This is not a new concept. Former Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote “Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter. Cold or warm. Tired or well-rested. Despised or honored.”, and Martin Luther King Jr. reminded all of us, “The time is always right to do what is right.”

What never comes up in the discussions regarding these two powerful questions is to make sure that you take selfies and post them on social media to boast about doing what is right. As soon as you post and boast it sends a clear message that this is all about you.

If you are in a leadership position and you are going to go out and work with your people, or buy them lunch, good for you. That is what leaders do. They support their people, invest in their people, and express gratitude to their people. As soon as you post and boast about it, you make it about you. Including them in the picture (like they had a choice) does not make it about them, it still makes it about you.

It is important to brag about and celebrate your people and shine the light on them. Just stay out of the picture and leave yourself out of the post.

I also see several posts on LinkedIn, which is the only social media platform I am on, sharing videos of people allegedly doing “random acts of kindness” to show how caring and altruistic they are.  If you have planned the event to the point where someone is capturing it on video so you can post it on social media, then it is all about you and not about the act.

What’s Important Now? If it is the right thing to do, simply do it, and skip the posting and boasting.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Better late than never.

Early this morning the following blog post from Seth Godin showed up in my inbox.

“I didn’t get in” 

There are two ways to process this:

The selection committee saw me, understood me, and then decided to reject me.

or

The selection committee didn’t get what I had to offer. I wasn’t rejected, my application was. It’s not that I didn’t get in, it’s that they didn’t engage with the story I told.

We can always do a better job of finding the place where we might thrive. And a better job of living and telling the story that earns us a chance to get to that place.

But the chances that you were fully seen and rejected as a person are slight indeed.

It struck me as I read it that I wish I would have had this advice 46 years ago. I was living in Edmonton at the time and trying to get hired by the Edmonton Police Service. I was rejected two years in a row. The first time they would not give me any feedback other than to come back in a year and apply again, which I did. The second time they rejected my application the feedback I received was that I wasn’t smart enough to make it through training because I had never been to college or university.

As a result of those rejections, I applied to the Calgary Police Service where I got hired, started training in the fall of 1979 and found a place where I could thrive. Since then, I have experienced rejection with applications to specialty units as well as other venues and most of the times it worked out for the best. The advice from Seth Godin would have still been helpful in advance of all those rejections.

Reading Godin’s post this morning also reminded me that I let the day get away from me yesterday and dropped the ball in sending out the W.I.N. Wednesday blog post so I decided better late than never. I hope you don’t reject the message just because it is Thursday.

I suspect the post by Godin was targeted at high school seniors who may get letters of rejection from colleges or universities they applied to. The reality, however, is that we all face rejection in life. That rejection comes in many forms, and it is easy to take it personally and assume they are rejecting you, at least that is how it felt for me.

What’s Important Now? Next time you face rejection consider that they are rejecting your application, not you.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. - The Power of Awareness

I have been very cautious since starting the W.I.N. Newsletter about using this platform to promote products. In fact, I can only remember one time where I did that and it was over a decade ago. I am going to make an exception now with The Power of Awareness program. I have known Randy Watt, one of the developers of this training program, for over 20 years. Randy is a great trainer, a high respected leader, a man of integrity and a quality human being. A few years ago he introduced me to Dan Schilling, the other creator of this training, at an NTOA conference where Dan was the opening keynote speaker and I had the opportunity to spend some time talking to Dan about training philosophies. I had purchased Dan's book The Power of Awareness prior to the conference and read it shortly after. I have since gone through the online Power of Awareness Training Program. Both Randy and Dan have a wealth of real world experience and are committed to helping people navigate today's world more safely through The Power of Awareness. 

I want to state up front that I am an affiliate of the POA program and get a small commission from every purchase using the Winning Mind Training link. These funds will help with the ongoing financial recovery from the COVID years and to help sustain my websites and blogs as I move towards semi retirement once my current US work visa expires June 1, 2025. I became an affiliate because I believe in what Randy and Dan are doing, and in the value of the training. For the police officers reading this there may not be anything new for you in this course, but there likely is for family and friends. 

I will not be continually bombarding you with sales e-mails about this course. I will send out a couple of more e-mails before the end of January as there is a discount available using the code #TacticalAwareness2024 until January 31. After that I will send out the occasional e-mail about the program. Below is information on the online training program, which includes a copy of the book. 

For more details, visit https://mypoa.org/winningmind

"Winning Mind Training is pleased to team up with The Power of Awareness Institute to bring you an online course where you will learn:

• Skills to enhance situational awareness in your daily life.

• Proven methodologies to make awareness a sustained practice, keeping you attuned to your surroundings.

• Strategies to minimize distractions and bolster your confidence in your own awareness levels.

• Techniques for connecting with and strengthening your intuition. 

• Ways to fortify your personal safety and freedom through a combination of awareness, preparedness and taking action. 

Don't miss this 90-minute course, tailored for all. Avail yourself or a loved one of a special discount by using the code #TacticalAwareness2024 at checkout.

Discount Code Expires January 31, 2024.

For more details, visit https://mypoa.org/winningmind

W.I.N. Wednesday: Learn to accept and celebrate yourself in your present condition.

This is the time of year when many people get caught up in the whole mess of New Year’s resolutions. I have written before about my concerns with New Year’s resolutions and will not rehash that here.

I am concerned about the concept of creating a “New You in the New Year.”, which I have seen a lot in the past few weeks. That phrase implies there is something significantly wrong with the current you. Now, I am all about small, incremental, daily improvement, but that is to build on the current you, not replace the current you, which is why I wanted to share the following from Thema Bryant that I recently came across.  

"Often we are so busy trying to get somewhere, trying to become someone, that we miss the beauty of right now. While it is valuable to have goals and dreams, I wonder if you're able to accept yourself in your present condition. I wonder if you can celebrate yourself in your present condition, beyond the striving of what and who you shall be, but who you are right now. With the beauty of simplicity in the present moment, you can start to reconnect with who you are on the inside."

Dr. Thema Bryant

It is ok to strive to continually improve upon the current you while simultaneously accepting and celebrating your present condition and how far you have come in the journey of life. That journey has had some ups and downs, some peaks and valleys, successes and struggles, wins and losses, and still you persist. Celebrate that. Celebrate you.

What’s Important Now? Remember to love yourself and accept and celebrate yourself in your present condition. Enjoy the beauty and simplicity of the present moment and reconnect with who you are on the inside.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

W.I.N. Wednesday: Jealousy - You can't just cherry-pick.

"When I was young, I had a lot of jealousy in me... I learned to get rid of it. It still crops up every now and then. It's such a poisonous emotion because, at the end of the day, you're no better off, you're unhappier, and the person you're jealous of is still successful or good-looking, or whatever they are.
​
I realized that all these people that I was jealous of, I couldn't just cherry-pick and choose little aspects of their life. I couldn't say I want his body; I want her money; I want his personality. 
​
You have to be that person. Do you want to actually be that person with all of their reactions, their desires, their family, their happiness level, their outlook on life, their self-image? If you're not willing to do a wholesale, 24/7, 100% swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous."

Naval Ravikant

Jealousy is an emotion we likely all experience at times. I know I do. But as Naval Ravikant points out in the above quote it is a poisonous emotion. In fact, the second part of the word jealousy describes how it generally makes us feel – lousy. The sad part is that what we are actually jealous of may be an illusion created by social media. You see a snapshot of a person’s life. You see the façade of happiness on the social media account. Not a lot of people post about all the bad, ugly shit in their life. And, if they do, you are probably not jealous of that crap.

The best advice I have come across to snap me out of that feeling of jealousy is the above quote from Ravikant. When I step back and ask myself, “Would I want to be that person? Would I want all of their life, not just this one small sliver?” The answer is generally “Hell no.” Ok then. Time to follow the lead from my dog and kick some grass over that shit and move on.

What’s Important Now? Next time you feel those pangs of jealousy remember you can’t just cherry-pick and choose little aspects of a person’s life so let it go and get back to work on your life.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Ultimately you make things happen through your actions.

As you head into 2024 remember this important message from Nick Cave on the power of small actions: 

"The everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous. 

Remember that ultimately, we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian (everyday; commonplace)  human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything. 

Our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning, and of vast consequence, and that they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not." 

What’s Important Now? Keep making things happen through your actions and continue to impact the unfolding story of the world.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Give yourself permission.

In today’s world there is a lot of pressure on people to somehow be able to constantly perform at superhuman levels. Social media and commercials would have us believe we are all supposed to have the perfect body, the perfect marriage, and the perfect life. We are supposed to be the perfect spouse or partner, the perfect parent, and the perfect friend. We are supposed to be the perfect leader, perfect employee, perfect trainer, and coach. We are supposed to have the perfect Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year.

Not only is this unrealistic, but it is also dangerous to your physical, mental, and emotional health.

Give yourself permission to be human. Humans are flawed. Humans struggle. Humans have ups and downs. Humans have good days and bad days. No one except you knows everything that is going on in your head, your body, and your life.

“You’re allowed to have off days. You're allowed to feel completely drained from all that is going on in your life and has been for a while. You're allowed to take a break from responsibilities to take care of yourself. You're allowed to express your feelings how you need to. You should not feel guilty for not feeling like or acting like yourself. It is in these times you discover yourself, your strength, you discover meaning and resiliency and all you need to live a good life. You will look back on these times and be proud of the person you fought for ― you will be proud of you.”

Jacqueline Whitney

Allow yourself to be human. Allowing yourself to be human does not mean we stop striving to learn and grow. It simply means that we accept that some days that is going to be easier than others. And sometimes we just need to take the day off.

What’s Important Now? Give yourself permission to be human.

What's Important Now? I am writing this for me and sharing with you. Thank you for allowing me to share it. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: I realized I am ok being aggressively average.

In the past few months, I had the opportunity to interview Jay Dawes PhD twice for The Excellence in Training Academy. Jay is an Associate Professor of Applied Exercise Science at Oklahoma State University. While discussing fitness for Tactical Athletes / First Responders Jay talked about the concept of being “aggressively average”. This references the need to develop all aspects of fitness (speed, power, strength, mobility, aerobic capacity, anerobic capacity) and not just focusing on being really good at one element so that as a first responder you can best meet the demands of the profession.

I began to reflect on this in relation to my fitness and realized this is my goal as I age. I am never going to be the fittest, the fastest, the strongest, the most powerful, have the best Max VO2, or the greatest aerobic base, but I can strive to be aggressively average in all those areas for functionality in life and for health span. As a result, I have adopted this mindset for my fitness regime.

The more I thought about the concept of “aggressively average” the more I have come to realize that I am ok with this mindset in all aspects of my life. Now some of you might be thinking, “What about embracing the pursuit of excellence and Dare to Be Great that you always talk about Willis?” I don’t think they are mutually exclusive. The key for me is the word ‘aggressively’ in aggressively average. Aggressively means that I am continually striving for small incremental gains. It means that I am striving to be ‘my best’, not ‘the best’. As I reflected on this concept of being aggressively average, I came to the realization that this has been the theme of my life.

I have never been the strongest, fittest, fattest, fastest, best looking, most educated, or smartest. I have never been the best leader, trainer, speaker, interviewer, or writer. When I was awarded the Law Officer Trainer of The Year Award, it was not for being the best trainer. It was for being aggressively average as a trainer and being committed to helping and supporting some worthy causes. I will never be in a Hall of Fame or on a “Top 40” list. And I am fine with that.

When I was the Sergeant of the Skills and Procedures Unit with the Calgary Police Service, I was never the most skilled in control tactics, officer safety tactics, firearms, driving or any of the areas we taught. I surrounded myself with people who were more skilled and more knowledgeable in all those areas, and they made me look good as the supervisor. I never sought promotion past the rank of Sergeant because I found my niche in training and that was the area where I felt I could have the greatest impact for the men and women of the Calgary Police Service.

I have the privilege of knowing some really smart people who have helped me figure stuff out so I can continue to get better. I have the privilege to interview a lot of really smart people for The Excellence in Training Academy. In order not to waste their time in the interviews I generally do between 2 and 12 hours research before every one of those interviews. That preparation along with the insights I gain from the interviews allows me to continually learn and grow. To me, that is what being ‘aggressively average’ is about.

I hear people get asked in interviews, “What is your superpower?” If I was ever asked that question my answer would have to be, “I don’t have any.” I have some strengths, but I certainly don’t have any superpowers. And I am ok with that.

What’s Important Now? It is ok to be ”aggressively average”. Just remember the importance of the word “aggressively”.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Three guiding habits to demonstrate respect.

Respect is listed as a Core Value for many organizations. We often talk about the importance of demonstrating respect and treating people with respect. What we do often talk about is how to actually do that. In his book Stop Talking, Start Communicating Geoffrey Tumlin writes about ‘Three Guiding Habits’. I believe that we can use and share these guiding habits as a framework for demonstrating respect, and for treating people with respect.

Three Guiding Habits:

1.    Listen like every sentence matters.

2.    Talk like every word counts.

3.    Act like every interaction is important.

These three habits apply to in person interactions, Zoom meetings and phone conversations. Living them demonstrates respect. Violating them demonstrates a lack of respect. Most people will never say anything at the time, but they will walk away from that interaction feeling frustrated, resentful, and disrespected.

This means you put away your phone, close your laptop, put down your papers, turn off your computer monitor and give the other person your full attention. If you need to be on your computer because it is a virtual meeting then close out your e-mail and text apps, put away your phone and other devices and give the other person or people your undivided attention. The same rules apply to a phone conversation and yes, the person on the other end of the call knows if your attention is not fully focused on the conversation.

In today’s episode of The Daily Coach titled The Leadership Journey of Presence, the author writes, “Suppose we don’t intentionally slow down and lean into being more present. In that case, we risk the most important and valuable moments that shape our life and leadership journeys – the real conversations with our partner, children, loved ones, team members, and the unexpected opportunities that arise or the simple joys that unfold in our daily lives. The decisions we make, the relationships we foster, and the impact we cultivate all stem from our ability to be fully engaged and aware in the present.”

Are the Three Guiding Habits simple? Yes. Are they easy? No. Why? Because attention is a limited commodity, and your attention is continually being pulled in multiple directions and following the guiding habits framework requires you to be intentional and deliberate about being present and living those guiding habits.

What’s Important Now? Be intentional with your attention and be deliberate about being present and demonstrating respect.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Forgive. Believe. Create.

One of the newsletters I subscribe to is The Daily Coach. An element of the Daily Coach is “Notes” of An Elder. "Notes" of An Elder is described as “a depository of pertinent information, knowledge, and wisdom. Available weekly will be an elder's "thinking menu" for your use.” One of the items on the thinking menu of a recent post was, “Forgive your younger self. Believe in your current self. Create your future self.”

For me this was a timely reminder as I had recently been reflecting on a few moments in time from the past that I still beat myself up over my actions or inactions in that moment. I believe we all have those moments. Some from our recent past and some from years ago. None of us can roll back the clock and get a ‘do over’. The best we can hope for is that at some point we reflected on that moment, learned from it, and moved forward as a slightly better version of ourselves.

We can get caught up living our lives looking in the rear-view mirror of life and dwelling on the woulda, coulda, shoulda moments, but there is little value in that. I heard somewhere, likely in a country and western song, that the windshield is significantly bigger than the rear-view mirror for a reason. The rear-view mirror is there so we can see what is behind us. The windshield allows us to see where we are and where we are going.

We all need to forgive our younger self. We were likely doing the best we could with the tools we had at that moment. You also need to believe in your current self. Believe in the skills and strengths you have developed so far throughout your life. Believe in your capacity and ability to learn and grow. None of us are stuck where we are at unless we choose to be. This is a critical piece of this journey because from this moment on you will always be your “current self”. The key is to engage in daily actions that will result in in small incremental improvement as part of your journey to be continually creating your future self. This will result in your current self always being a little better than yesterday’s version of you.

What’s Important Now? Forgive. Believe. Create.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Go beyond the headline.

Theoretically the headline of the article, or title of the story, book or research paper is designed to grab your attention, pique your interest, make you go, “Huh. That is interesting.” and inspire you to read the rest of the document. The problem is that too many people stop at the headline or title. After reading that small snippet they assume they know what information is contained in the article, story or paper and then take that assumption as fact.

Before you share an article on social media, take the time to read the entire article, then decide if it is still worth sharing. You may just save yourself some embarrassment.

Before you take the title of the research paper as gospel, take the time to read the paper in its entirety. Having read over 100 research papers so far this year, I can tell you that titles can be deceiving, and claims inferred from the titles can be misleading. Research papers can be hard to read so if you do not understand it then find a source you trust in that field and look at their interpretation. Personally, if I am not certain about the validity of claims related to health or nutrition made in research papers with catchy titles, I will look to Peter Attia MD, or one of the other sources I trust and wait until they review and breakdown the paper.  

Before you recommend a book to someone else, read the book. Just because someone else liked it does not mean you will. I have some people I respect who have recommended books that I would never recommend. Books, like movies, are personal preference. Some authors, bloggers, podcast hosts, or ‘influencers’ do not resonate with me, just like my writing and interviewing style does not resonate with everyone. If someone is looking for a book recommendation in a specific genre, and there is a book that gets great reviews, but you have not read it, just tell the person that and let them make up their own mind.

In a world where we are continually bombarded with articles, stories, blog posts, books and reach papers with catchy tittles it is impossible to do a deep dive into everything. Be selective about what you read and who you listen to. If it is important to you, then make the time to do a deeper dive. Before you share, be sure to read and critically examine what you are sharing.

What’s Important Now? Go beyond the headline.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Dropping the ball does not mean you are out of the game.

The last few months I have dropped the ball on a few projects, writing this blog every week is one of them. There are several factors such as work travel, fatigue, the flu, mental blocks when I sit down to write and others. Ultimately, they are all excuses, resulting in feelings of guilt for dropping the ball. I decided to practice what I preach and focus on What’s Important Now. That meant practicing some self-compassion, picking the ball back up and going in search for an idea to inspire today’s blog. That search led me to the following quote from Lisa Buscomb:

“Every morning you have the opportunity to change your life. To start something new. To end something that no longer feels right. To love your self a little more. To love others more and show more kindness. To say yes or to say no. To take a small step or a giant leap. Life doesn't have to stand still. And the truth is it never will. So why not make the changes you want to see. Take the chances. Each day you have the opportunity to change the path you are on. To move closer to living the life you want to live. Everything you dream of is possible, it's never too late.”

Reading this reminded me that just because I dropped the ball, there is nothing stopping me from picking it up and getting back in the game except for me. In addition to preaching W.I.N. and self-compassion, I also talk about striving for small incremental daily improvements every day. I have grown fond of the word ‘striving’. For me striving embraces the Challenge Mindset and encourages approach behaviors. Striving to me is all about the journey in pursuit of excellence and the understanding that this is not a linear path forward. There are ups and downs and setbacks and steps forward. As Marianne Davies would say, it is about “learning in the ugly zone”.

It is easy to focus on what I have not done, and neglect what I have accomplished. While I dropped the ball on this blog, some e-mails and one or two other projects, there are many areas of my life where I have maintained my commitment to the pursuit of excellence and maintained alignment with my personal and professional values. Even though I stay off social media outside of LinkedIn, I continually remind myself to avoid falling into the “comparison trap” and comparing my productivity to the apparent productivity of others.

When Lisa Buscomb writes, “Every morning you have the opportunity to change your life.”, understand that that change can be one small thing. You pick up just one ball that you dropped, start something new or end one thing that no longer feels right. Reading her words helped me to reframe and reset my mindset, I hope it will do the same for you.

What’s Important Now?  Have some self-compassion and understand that every day you have the opportunity to change your life.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: In search of the “right answer”.

We learned in school that there was always a “right answer” to the test question. You either got the answer right, or you did not. If you got it wrong, you lost marks. Those of us who were prone to want to debate the “right answer”, usually learned that that was a lost cause and therefore learned to provide the “right answer” the teacher was looking for.

Once we get out of school, we learn that in life the “right answer” is generally not as cut and dry. There is often a lot of nuance and complexity to the answer. Many have heard me respond questions about the “right answer” with, “It depends.”, followed by a series of questions to determine the context and even with that information the reality is likely that there is multiple “right answers’. I like the way that Michell C. Clark frames this reality of life in the following quote.  

“There’s no “right answer”— only endless possibilities, unanswered questions, and an inability to satisfy everyone. Every day, we have to make nuanced decisions and snap judgements about how we’re going to use our time, energy, and resources. And sometimes, we have to choose between self-preservation and showing up for the people we love. We have to choose between vulnerability and self-protection. We have to choose between taking care of ourselves and taking care of the people we love. I don’t know if these decisions ever get easier. I don’t know if life ever starts to make more sense. What I do know is that we owe it to ourselves to keep learning ourselves, our needs, and our boundaries so that we can better understand how to show up for ourselves, the people we love, and the world.” Michell C. Clark

While there may not be a singular “right answer” you still must make choices, decide on a course of action and act. Life’s Most Powerful Question – What’s Important Now? can help you make those decisions.

What’s Important Now? Life is full of choices. Choose well, assess, iterate, and keep moving forward.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Stay curious and read on.

This week I just want to share two quotes for you to reflect on.

The first I got from Andrew Huberman in one of his podcasts

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."

Dorothy Parker

The second was from one of James Clear’s 3-2-1 Thursday newsletters.

"I consider reading the greatest bargain in the world. A shelf of books is a shelf of many lives and ideas and imaginations which the reader can enjoy whenever he wishes and as often as he wishes. Instead of experiencing just one life, the book-lover can experience hundreds or even thousands of lives. He can live any kind of adventure in the world. Books are his time machine into the past and also into the future. Books are his "transporter" by which he can beam instantly to any part of the universe and explore what he finds there. Books are an instrument by which he can become any person for a while—a man, a woman, a child, a general, a farmer, a detective, a king, a doctor, anyone. 

Great books are especially valuable because a great book often contains within its covers the wisdom of a man or woman's whole lifetime. But the true lover of books enjoys all kinds of books, even some nonsense now and then, because enjoying nonsense from others can teach us to also laugh at ourselves. A person who does not learn to laugh at his own problems and weaknesses and foolishness can never be a truly educated or a truly happy person. Also, probably the same thing could be said of a person who does not enjoy learning and growing all his life."

Gene Roddenberry, television screenwriter and creator of Star Trek

What’s Important Now? Stay curious and read on.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

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